She has watermelon-sized boobs, almost got sued by Ringo Starr and makes alien sex films. How could Chris not fall in love...
By Chris Nieratko
When I met Elizabeth Starr two years ago at the Adult Video News Convention in Las Vegas, her boobs were nearly falling out of her top and
she was flanked on each side by a midget. The sight stopped me dead in my tracks. And that's when I noticed exactly what she was hocking: amazing fetish videos and hilarious B-movie-inspired big-bust films such as Porn Stars From Mars (where she is painted completely green and has sex as a Martian).
I stood looking through pages and pages of her catalogue - filled with pregnancy films, gals inserting glass bottles into their vaginas, peeing videos, fruit-and-vegetable films and her sexy collection of 50s-style burlesque DVDs - and found myself entrenched in hotrod autos, unbelievably huge titties, tattoos, punk rock and fun. I felt I'd finally found a place to call home.
And then I met Elizabeth Starr's husband, Kevin, and I was sure of it. He was a long, tall man with a rocker's demeanour, and he looked people in the eye when he shook their hands. We got to talking and he told me how the night before he almost beat up some guy for making a comment about his wife of 10 years' breasts. I thought that was the most romantic thing I'd ever heard and only hoped that after 10 years I'd still have the fire in my bones to want to kill men over the honour of my wife.
Two years later I'm proud to present this interview with the special couple, so you can fall in love with them as much as I am. And I'm certain once you read about how Elizabeth killed a man, was almost sued by Ringo Starr, shot bananas out of her vagina and has 14lb titties, you too will fall down smitten. Mark my words.
How many CCs of fun are you packing exactly?
I'm about 4,000CCs, but I don't have implants. I'm one of the few string girls, which is a different procedure. It's polypropylene string behind breast tissue and you basically fill up with body fluid. So I don't have implants.
So there's an actual volleyball in there?
Seriously. There's only five of us left. Minka is one of them, myself, Chelsea Charms, and I forget the others. But it is really hard to find implants this size. You can't locate them.
Couldn't you put a bunch of smaller bags in?
There's no way you could; you'd just get lines. They'd cause friction off each other and you'd just be distorted.
How much do each of your boobs weigh? Have you ever put them on a scale?
I don't know, I haven't weighed them. But I could bring the scale in and weigh them if you really want to know. It's probably not as much as you would think. [Elizabeth goes and gets her mail scale and weighs her boobs.] It looks to be about 14lb. I don't know if that's accurate.
We'll let it stand. I wanted to speak to you about your husband, who I really like a lot. First off, how long have you been married to Kevin?
Ten years. Isn't that lovely?
What I initially liked about him was, as soon as I met him, he told me how the night prior some guy was staring at your boobs and how he was going to fight him, and I thought that was rather romantic - after 10 years of marriage, he still wants to beat people up for looking at your rather noticeable tits.
I think that's a pain in the ass. I don't know if that's romantic.
[To Elizabeth's husband, Kevin] Is that a constant thing for you? Always having to tell men off for looking at your wife's boobs?
Kevin: Sort of, yeah. Pretty much daily.
Elizabeth: Well, I've always been busty, but before I went this busty he was always looking at other girls this big and he thought, "Oooh, that's really sexy." Then I become this busty and he's like, "That's not cool any more."
Have you tallied a lot of fights over the years, Kevin?
He's gotten into a lot of fights, period. One was on TV. I was watching Hard Copy and there he was, beating this guy up. I was like, "What are you doing?" It was outside Rainbow Room on Sunset Boulevard.
Did you fuck him up?
K: Yeah, I did. That happened before we got married. We'd just started dating. It was some idiot and he said something to Elizabeth like, "What are you doing with this faggot?" So I took him down, then I dragged him into the middle of Sunset and put my boot on his throat and said, "This faggot just kicked your ass." Somehow it got filmed and next thing it's on TV.
Do you have a lot of back problems because of the boobs?
Not really. I was in a car accident nine years ago so I wouldn't know anyway, but I have always been naturally busty. Not this big, but always D or DD, so I'm used to the weight. Having a little extra weight isn't much of a difference really.
I found this unbelievably retarded when I read about it, but tell me about being almost sued by Beatles drummer Ringo Starr.
Well, Ringo supposedly was driving down Highland Avenue where our offices are and he saw our Starr Productions sign on the building. He called his attorney, who happens to know my brother-in-law's father-in-law, who's an attorney, and my brother-in-law who's our company attorney. They contacted him and disputed my trademark and wordmark. Even though we had an LLC and we're legally registered, and even though we're the only Starr Productions in California and the only Starr Productions in the entertainment industry, he still wanted us to change our name. When he trademarked his name he didn't even think about trademarking
Starr Productions, he just trademarked the name Ringo Starr. He kept saying there was going to be confusion, that people were going to think Starr Productions was related to Ringo Starr. And my brother-in-law thought it was really cool because he's a big Beatles fan.
K: The best thing we did was let it go, to see what their next step would be. The best way to not be affiliated with somebody is to not be affiliated with them. If you don't want people to think Ringo Starr is associated with our porn company, then let it go - and that's what he did in the end.
Would Ringo make a decent porn star?
His wife would. She was in Playboy in the 70s. Isn't that ironic?
Does it change how you feel about The Beatles?
K: No, it changes how I feel about lawyers.
Was there ever a time when you said to Ringo, "It should have been you, not John"?
K: No, but if it had actually gotten to the point where we had to show up in court I probably would have mouthed off to him.
What was the highlight of your time working at McDonald's as a drive-thru cashier?
This guy used to come in like every Thursday to get a chicken sandwich and he tipped me a dollar every time. He'd fold the dollar up and slip it to me. That was the highlight. I was only 16 years old. I don't think he was being a paedophile or anything. I think he was just being a nice guy.
Did you ever spit in the Freedom Fries?
No, I have to say I really respected my job
a lot and I worked very hard and I wore my little uniform with pride. I think they should do a survey on how many porn stars or how many people that end up in the adult industry have actually worked in a fast-food restaurant.
You think there's a direct correlation?
I don't know, maybe. I was a nurse's aide too; that was a trip. My dad was a doctor and my mom was an administrator in a nursing home, so they got me a job when I was 15 at a nursing home. I was a 'candy striper' or nurse's assistant. I would help feed the patients in the stroke ward. There was this one gentleman who was like 80 years old, the most adorable guy. He had a speech impediment from the stroke and he couldn't speak very well. I would go in and fluff his bed every afternoon in my little candy-striper outfit and feed him. He would talk to me but it was really hard to understand him. So one day I was feeding him and he was trying to speak to me, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I was like, "OK, Sir. Take it nice and slow so I can understand you." We went through it for like 10 minutes and I just didn't know what he was saying and then all of a sudden, clear as day, he blurts out, "PUSSY!" I swear to God, he shouted out, "PUSSY!" I'm 15
years old and I'm totally shocked. I didn't know what to say because I'm alone in this room with this 80-year-old guy and so I just say, "OK, Sir. I'll see what I can do and I'll be right back." I ran to the nurse's station and by the time I got there it was Code Red and the nurses were running back to his room. I didn't know what was going on. Turns out the man had a coronary and died because he was so excited waiting for me to come back with my pussy. After that I quit my job because I felt so bad. That was the end of my medical career.
I told my friend Ray you do a lot of fetish videos. He came up with an idea for a new fetish and we were wondering if you would be interested in producing it. It's a big, tall guy with a small penis that cums before he even gets his pants off. Do you think there's a niche for that?
Yeah, definitely. A lot of guys can probably relate to that. I'm sure there's a market.
I have a big problem with your one video, Porn Stars From Mars. After watching it I'm completely burnt on regular porn and I only want to watch Martian porn.
That's a big fetish. When we made that movie the guys on the set, all the people that worked for me, were like, "Oh my God. That's totally hot!"? I would like to do another one of those. I did that one not caring if it made a dollar.
I just wanted to do it because I like sci-fi movies. It was so cool trying to shoot at the Hollywood sign and not get arrested for it.
Do you personally film the movies in your catalogue that have girls sticking bottles inside them and the pregnancy films?
When we started we bought a library of films from Mother Productions, all fetish films. So I started with 300 or so titles because I knew I couldn't start a production company without
any titles. It just doesn't happen any more. So having those has allowed us to do the other stuff, but now, as we make new titles, I shoot it all myself - first camera. I do all the photography and the taping myself. That's what I enjoy.
Have there ever been any accidents with a girl sticking a bottle in their vagina?
Do you mean the girls getting hurt? No. So far I haven't filmed that by myself because it sort of wigs me out, but I have filmed pregnant girls, peeing and the fruit and vegetables.
The ironic thing about it is the library I bought was the very first company I ever shot for. I started shooting as a fetish model first, so I'm in a lot of those older titles that I now own. I did a banana-split one once, where I covered myself in ice cream and
cherries and whipped cream and then started putting stuff inside me and shooting out bananas. That stuff doesn't bother me, but the bottle thing, yeah, because what happens if it breaks? That freaks me out.
What has been the biggest piece of fruit or vegetable that has been in a vagina in any of your films?
A watermelon. No, just kidding. To be completely honest, I haven't watched a lot of them. It's not my thing but I respect them.
Which fetish sells the best for you?
Aside from big bust, it would probably be pregnant first, then peeing, and then squirting. Those are my top three. Also, our lady-ass-licking line does really well. There seem to be a lot of people out there who get off on watching girls lick each other's asses.
Do any of the girls get pregnant just to
be in your movies?
No - the pay is not too great for the pregnant films, so I really don't think they're doing it for me.
Do you have to pay for two people when filming a pregnant woman?
No, I do a two-for-one deal. I don't pay union wages. A lot of the girls that have worked for me before have gotten pregnant and they call me. I'm only too happy to give them a shot.
One thing I need to clarify is what size
your boobs are currently?
I'm a 36O or a 44II, depending how you measure. The smaller around the girl is, the larger the cup size is for her.
Well, whichever size they are fantastic.
*For more of Elizabeth Starr and her big tits or to buy any of her amazing DVDs go to Starrproductions.biz